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for Kai

lyrics

I wish I knew how to write a jazz song
Something you would have liked

I thought this would be easier to write
I thought that grief would tear it out of me
But grief lingers with surprisingly gentle fingers
Too weak and soft to cut the comet from its packaging

I had a dream about you the other night
I was on my way to meet you
All the westbound trains were running late
You said you had to go, you couldn't wait
You hung up the phone and suddenly I was awake

And I know it's been 826 days
Since the last time that I saw your face
You'd be proud of me, I'm keeping up my streak
Because I wanted to speak fluently the next time that I came to Barcelona

And I know it's been 826 days
Since the last time that I saw your face
You'd be proud of me, I'm keeping up my streak
Because I wanted to speak fluently the next time that I came to Barcelona

It's weird to think that 18 years is the longest I'll ever have known you
I still see your ghost appear in mailing lists and aliases
Streaks upon the window glass that don't get cleaned away
The night we left the restaurant, I turned round to wave
And suddenly you were gone

credits

from you are the light that casts a shadow, released March 1, 2024

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